I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
