We named our party play list daddy issues
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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