Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
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