Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
