I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I can't turn off my feet"
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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