This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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