We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
