week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
