I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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