i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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