People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
