hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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