Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
