I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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