Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
