i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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