just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
this must be what syphilis tastes like
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize