Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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