I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
