got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
