yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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