found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
