wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
handjob tips. give me some.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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