i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize