I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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