I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
She's the barista slut.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize