I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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