a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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