Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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