Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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