im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
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