and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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