Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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