I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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