get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
