Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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