She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize