I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
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