come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
