well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
