I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
