you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
