On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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