You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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