guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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