And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize