i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
