how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
