conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
