so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
