dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
