im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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