you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I just want nice things and good sex
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
