he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
