hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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