do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
How drunk are you?
Completed.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
