is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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