how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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