Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
