We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Your penis caused this!
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize