"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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