We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
