What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
tell your sister to shave her snatch
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
