i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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