Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize