I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize