Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
