Where are you?
In a non slutty way
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
