we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
tonight lets celebrate not being married
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
