Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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