oh god the rape fog is back!
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
