Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize