return my video game
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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