How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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