redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
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