Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Randomize
