This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
