well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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