Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
